Let’s start at the beginning. You’ve been thinking about buying a toy. You’re curious, but a little anxious. That’s OK! Myself, and the rest of the Pepper’s staff are here to help you out. Here are some myths we should go ahead and knock out.
1. “I had a friend who tried this one toy and she didn’t like it.” Fair enough. But remember, everybody is different. What I love, someone else at the store may hate. We are all wired a bit different, so just because your friend tried it and didn’t like it doesn’t mean you won’t. If you get home, and it isn’t what you thought it would be, consider trying it a few more times before you give up on it. Sometimes, especially at the beginning, you may be tense or nervous. That can make your first experience less than great. Take time to relax. Get yourself in the mood. Read a sexy book, think up a hot fantasy. Take a long hot bath. Wait for a time when you will have quiet and privacy. Set the mood.
2. “My partner doesn’t like the idea of me using a toy.” Why? Enhancing your ability to experience pleasure can be one of the best gifts you can give yourself and your partner. Many toys are very easy for couples to use together. Learning what makes you feel good makes it even easier for your partner to help you feel great. Point out to your partner that you want to increase the ability to feel good for both of you. You might really really like your new toy, but an object can’t replace a person.
3. “I bought a toy online and it is too big/doesn’t work.” Ladies and Sirs, I have done this myself, you see something online and it looks great but, when you have it in your hand you realize that your eyes were bigger than your -appetite. One great thing about shopping at Peppers is that you don’t have to imagine how big something is, or how soft it is, you actually get to see it. We try to have as many testers and samples as possible. We want you to be happy when you leave. We want you to come back. And we are always happy to let you battery test a product.
Now, the good stuff!
What should be the first toy I buy? If you are a lady, I’m going to suggest a product that gives good clitoral stimulation. This covers a very wide array of products. From bullets to rabbits, we have many different styles that can stimulate you externally. It’s only a few women (about 20%) that can have an orgasm from penetration alone. The majority of your pleasure-loving nerves are clustered in the clitoris and the first 2-3 inches of the vagina (including the g-spot).
Now, not to leave the guys out. We have great sleeves for guys, including Fleshlights. We also have ‘backdoor’ products that can stimulate a man’s prostate and help you have a much stronger orgasm. Just like the ladies, getting to see the products up close and personal can really help when deciding what to buy for the first time, and what you want to get next time.
What are good things to look for in my first toy?
Well, you want quality. The better made the product the longer it’s going to be around to keep giving you pleasure. Also, materials matter. Many newbies start out with ‘jelly’ products. These are usually somewhat soft. Jelly products should only be used with condoms, due to their porous nature. Jelly material can harbor bacteria, even if you use a toy cleaner. So using a condom every time can help prevent bacterial infections.
Products that only say “silicone” are not pure silicone, they may have only a very small amount of silicone in them. 100% silicone products are medical grade. These can be used without a condom, and toy cleaner works great to keep them clean. 100% silicone products should only be used with water-based lube.
Glass. Yes, glass. We sell solid, hand-blown glass. You aren’t going to break it while using it. Your body parts are wonderful, but they are not that strong. I always joke that the Hulk would have to bang them on a concrete floor to even hurt them. Glass is also super smooth. Glass is great for many reasons. You can put it in the dishwasher, use toy cleaner, soap and water, and get it super clean. Glass is one of the few things I would share with a partner, due to how clean you can get it. If you have allergies to certain chemicals, glass is wonderful. And the fun part about glass is that you can get it very warm or very cool. Also, most glass products are waterproof. So, fun in the shower! Glass is also safe with water or silicone based lube.
Stainless and medical grade steel. See above. Super easy to clean. Can get them warm and cool. Super smooth and the weight adds a new dimension of sensation. Can use with water or silicone based lube.
Good ‘beginner’ toys:
Bullet or egg. Can be used externally by male or female. Fun for couple play. They come in a range of sizes, materials, and power. We even have rechargeable versions! Many come with a cord. If your toy has a cord, don’t hold it by the cord. Don’t wrap the cord around it when you are done. Be very gentle with the cord. If your toy uses batteries, always take them out when not in use.
Rabbits. Rabbit refers to any toy that stimulates your g-spot and your clitoris at the same time. These also come is a very wide range of materials, shapes and sizes. And don’t feel intimidated! Rabbits can be very small and short and still feel very good. They can look very stylized, or more realistic. Some may have metal balls or pearls in them. They can also move lots of different ways. Some even light up! We have lots of demos at the store, so feel free to come in and see the differences.
C-rings. (and by ‘C’, I mean penis). The C-ring can be placed around the base of the penis or the base and the testicles once you have an erection. This keeps blood trapped in the penis and can help extend your fun by delaying orgasm. Good things to look for in a C-ring are elasticity, or a way to remove it quickly. You want to be able to take it off when you are ready. I highly discourage the use of metal C-rings. C-rings also can come in models that vibrate for even more fun!
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I’ve picked out the toy I want, what else do I need?”
Toy cleaner. After you’ve had fun with your toy, wash it off and spray it with toy cleaner. This will keep your toy clean for the next use. Also, a cloth bag or ziplock bag will keep it safe when you aren’t using it. If you need to hide your toys, Kathi has always had the great idea of using a suitcase with travel locks. Keeping your toy clean will help prevent any bacteria from growing, and give your toy a longer life.
Lube. Toys tend to dry up natural lubrication. Lots of people think they don’t need lube. Lube makes everything better, ladies and sirs. We sell silicone and water based lubes. And we have lots of different kinds. We also sell sample sizes so you can experiment and decide on what suits you best. We do not sell oil-based lube, as it degrades condoms and can give bacterial infections to men and women.
Batteries! If your toy uses batteries, make sure you buy some of our super strong ones before you leave. Buy extra, because it’s not fun to run out of power when you want it! We have new toys that are rechargeable and you don’t even have to worry about batteries. Or buy one of our many products that recharge, then you never have to worry about running out of power.
Now, if you’re still nervous that is OK. We want you to have fun, learn, and leave with what makes you feel great. And just remember, we are always here to help you out.
Jennifer Robertson, LMSW